The
Ministry of Human Empowerment of our Church (MOHE) has decided to initiate
various programs on an all Church basis during the fag end of the current
calendar year, possibly during October, November and December with the
agenda that the life of our young boys and girls are nurtured the right
way by their parents. MOHE is understood to have rightly identified that
the lack of good parenting in our society creates many a problem as
stumbling blocks towards proper grooming of our young boys and girls to
lead their lives positively to be true witnesses of Jesus Christ. In fact,
the last two years, Church has taken initiatives towards creating proper
awareness among us on issues like the need of strong family ties and also
the need to stay away from the habit of drinking or using drugs and such
other intoxicating substances. In other words, we are just coming across
to analyze a third major issue in three years, which certainly makes us
more responsible in our endeavor to attack social evils spoiling our
community. It is also a pertinent point that the issue we have this year,
perhaps, happens to be the mother of issues we attempted to tackle last
two years. No doubt, lack of good parenting is the main or even the most
crucial reason behind broken family relations and the habit of drinking.
Under
such a background, an effort is being made here to come out with a few
suggestions as to how we approach this issue of good parenting to be made
effective in our society.
The
subject Good Parenting can be driven home in an excellent manner by
conducting a series of seminars and symposia and even street plays or
through such other popular media. We have no dearth of quality resource
persons, but what I suggest is that driving home the message should not be
the goal we target to achieve. We must penetrate into our family life
church wise and parish wise. Earlier, we had looked into the aspect of how
closely bound are our families and later we looked into the damage caused
by the menace of drinking. But, both these can have their real source
traced to relevance of good parenting. Thus, the importance of good
parenting can never be under estimated.
Let
us look into this issue at the parish level. Our first step shall be to
identify the segment where good parenting is lacking badly. This may not
be a difficult task. Once a core group is formulated at the parish level
they should evolve strategies best suited in their environment. For
example, out of 200 children in the parish, only 50 may be attending
Sunday school. There may be children who are highly irregular in attending
Church services. There may be parents attending, children not attending
and also the other way around. There may be families coming very late.
There may be children who come to church in cow boy style dressings. There
are many indications like these. From such indications, the core group can
identify families where parenting has issues to be corrected.
Again, we must try to watch the behavior of children outside the time of
worship. How do they behave in the church premises? How do they behave in
Sunday school? How do they behave even inside the church? How do they
behave with elders? By observing these types of behavior patterns, we can
get clues as to how they are parented. I have personal experience that
certain children are very prompt and regular in littering their snacks’
waste everywhere in the church premises and corridors in spite of waste
bins provided. Is this not something to do with parenting? There are
children misbehaving with their friends. There are children behaving as if
the whole premises are ruled by them or by their parents. Such situations,
if properly watched, can definitely lead us to a lot of families where
improvement in parenting is a need.
May
be, Sunday school teachers are the best to judge whether a boy or girl is
in the habit of reading Bible regularly or praying regularly at home with
their parents. The attendance in prayer meetings surely can be judge in
itself to ascertain the spiritual life of families, of course from those
who are regular in absenting themselves.
From
here, the core group’s watch may be extended to young couples and young
parents. Their reluctance to be regular in church itself can lead to infer
the lacuna in parenting they have had during their formative years and the
likelihood is that the pattern may repeat in the next generation as well.
There needs to be efforts from our side to correct this. In any parish,
there would be at least a significant number of young couples or parents
belonging to this category and we must identify them.
Again, there are many who spend a lot of time with their mobile phones and
they cannot control this passion even at church premises. Such youngsters
too are victims of not so good a parenting. There are children who perform
badly in Sunday school examinations and that too quite consistently. There
are children who are very prompt in shying away from co curricular
activities of Sunday school. These are all signs of inadequate parenting.
Once we talk with them, many incidents relating to their home life may
come up.
We
also find these days many of our youngsters are falling into unhealthy
friendships. Boys and girls are equally getting misguided into such traps.
These ‘friendships’ grow into sexual molestations leading to harassments
and even gay relationships develop followed by worse and unruly turn of
events which could have been prevented had there been healthy interference
from responsible sources. Many a life gets spoiled and the parents come to
know of these only at a stage when the maximum damage is already
inflicted. The core group should identify such relations among our parish
youngsters. May be this is not that easy, but if we aim at good parenting,
we have to find out ways and means to ascertain these.
Similar to what are suggested above, there are many more areas where
situations requiring corrective measures can be identified. We should list
out volunteers who can visit such homes and find out the parenting styles.
True, such volunteers have to be properly oriented and sufficient in puts
provided so that such visits should not result in more damage than
positives.
The
fact has to be accepted that bad parenting stands out as the root cause
for most of the ill effects the society is facing these days. So any
extend of positive efforts initiated shall not be excess. The actions
initiated should have a follow up system through which the changes are to
be monitored. Not much radical transformation need be expected in the
three months of October to December. The efforts initiated now should
continue and the actions should be of ongoing nature.
Finally, the message that the actions on good parenting by MOHE is not
going to be an activity for the sake of doing something, but it is a
beginning in our Church with specific goals, must be effectively
communicated down the line.
GEORGE JOSEPH ENCHAKKATTIL
